Disclaimer: All the characters therein belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox Enterprises and the WB. I'm not claiming to own them because as much as I wish they were, they aren't mine.
Classification: Bad-fic
Distribution: I can't imagine anyone wanting this, but if someone does, just let me know!
Spoilers: Please, only if you're completely ignorant
Author's Note: I think I was high when I wrote this.or really stressed out
Dedication: To Bubble and Brett, the two kids I baby-sit for because this is sort of like the book they forced me to read about a billion times

There was once a little Slayer. She had blond hair and hazel eyes, and she had a mission: she was going to blow up the world. But first she needed a plan. So Slayer Buffy went to talk to Witch Willow.

Slayer Buffy: "Witch Willow! Witch Willow! I want to do something no one has ever done before. I want to blow up the world! How do I do that?"

Witch Willow: "Slayer Buffy, if you want to blow up the world, you must cast a powerful Wiccan spell!"

Slayer Buffy: "But I do not have magic powers. This cannot help me. Goodbye."

So Slayer Buffy continued on her way, searching for a way to blow up the world. That was when she came upon Watcher Giles.

Slayer Buffy: "Watcher Giles! Watcher Giles! I want to do something no one has ever done before. I want to blow up the world! How do I do that?"

Watcher Giles: "To blow up the world, one must unleash the evils of chaos and misgivings. Go forth and unleash them, Slayer Buffy!"

Slayer Buffy: "But then they will have blown up the world. It must be I. This cannot help me. Goodbye."

So Slayer Buffy continued on her way, searching for a way to blow up the world. That was when she came upon Bitch Cordelia.

Slayer Buffy: "Bitch Cordelia! Bitch Cordelia! I want to do something no one has ever done before. I want to blow up the world! How do I do that?"

Bitch Cordelia: "If you want to blow up the world, you must kill me because as we all know, the world revolves around me. If I die, the world will stop. But don't you dare, Slayer Buffy!"

Slayer Buffy: "You are not as important as you think. If I kill you, the world will keep on turning, you are wrong! This cannot help me. Goodbye."

So Slayer Buffy continued on her way, searching for a way to blow up the world. That was when she came upon Wuss Wesley.

Slayer Buffy: "Wuss Wesley! Wuss Wesley! I want to do something no one has ever done before. I want to blow up the world! How do I do that?"

Wuss Wesley: "Blowing up the world would mean that you would demolish the world, Slayer Buffy. There are three key words to remember if you do this. They are: preparation, preparation, preparation."

Slayer Buffy: "You are stupid, Wuss Wesley. That is one word three times. This cannot help me. Goodbye."

So Slayer Buffy continued on her way, searching for a way to blow up the world. That was when she came upon Vampire-with-a-soul Angel.

Slayer Buffy: "Vampire-with-a-soul Angel! Vampire-with-a-soul Angel! I want to do something no one has ever done before. I want to blow up the world! How do I do that?"

Vampire-with-a-soul Angel: "Slayer Buffy, since I love you so dear, I shall share with you my strategy for destroying the world. Summon the demon Alcatha. He is trapped in a stone statue. With the blood of one worthy, namely I, he will come forth and suck the world into Hell."

Slayer Buffy: "I love you dear too, but I wish to blow the world up, not to suck it into another dimension. And I must do the job, not yourself, Vampire-with-a-soul Angel. This cannot help me. Goodbye."

So Slayer Buffy continued on her way, searching for a way to blow up the world. That was when she came upon Werewolf Oz.

Slayer Buffy: "Werewolf Oz! Werewolf Oz! I want to do something no one has ever done before. I want to blow up the world! How do I do that?"

Werewolf Oz: "Growl! Argh! Grrr!"

Slayer Buffy: "You are not speaking English, Werewolf Oz. This cannot help me. Goodbye."

So Slayer Buffy continued on her way, searching for a way to blow up the world. That was when she came upon Vampire Spike.

Slayer Buffy: "Vampire Spike! Vampire Spike! I want to do something no one has ever done before. I want to blow up the world! How do I do that?"

Vampire Spike: "Bloody hell, you want to blow up the world, pet? I thought you were trying to save it! I don't want the world blown up! You've got all your people running around like happy meals on legs, remember? Sorry, I cannot help you, ducks!"

Slayer Buffy: "You know not how to blow up the world. This cannot help me. Goodbye."

So Slayer Buffy continued on her way, searching for a way to blow up the world. That was when she came upon Monster-Lover Xander.

Slayer Buffy: "Monster-Lover Xander! Monster-Lover Xander! I want to do something no one has ever done before. I want to blow up the world! How do I do that?"

Monster-Lover Xander: "You've got to do it like a video game, Slayer Buffy. A little magic, some cool lasers, and boom! The world has been blown up."

Slayer Buffy: "Monster-Lover Xander, that is not realistic. We are not in a video game. This cannot help me. Goodbye."

So Slayer Buffy continued on her way, searching for a way to blow up the world. That was when she came upon Smart Geek Bill, a person from her class.

Slayer Buffy: "Smart Geek Bill! Smart Geek Bill! I want to do something no one has ever done before. I want to blow up the world! How do I do that?"

Smart Geek Bill: "Did you know that we have enough explosives in the world to blow ourselves up ten times over? It is a bad situation and very dangerous for our safety. You must be insane to want to blow up the world, Slayer Buffy. But if you want to, you simply need to set off those bombs."

Slayer Buffy: "Smart Geek Bill, you are indeed smart! This I can do, you have helped me greatly. Now I am off to destroy the world. Goodbye."

So Slayer Buffy set off to destroy the world, using a flying spell by Witch Willow to get to a big military base. She arrived inside and no one paid her any heed. She walked into the room with the big explosives and smiled.

Slayer Buffy: "I am finally doing something that no one has ever done! I am going to blow up the world! I am so proud of myself!"

And Slayer Buffy set off the bombs. And the world? It went.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!

And that is the story of the little Slayer that blew up the World.

And the morale of this story is: If you really want to do something, you can. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't blow up the world if that's what you really want to do. Just look at Slayer Buffy! Oh wait, you can't. The world she was in blew up. Sorry :)

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